Friday, January 10, 2014

Stepford’s Escape – 2 years post

It has been a long time since I have written anything for this blog.  I have been pretty much mentally and emotionally paralyzed for the past year.  I honestly don’t know how to describe what is going on with me.  I have lost my motivation to “live”.  I am not talking in the sense of wanting to whack myself (although I have given that some serious thought a couple of times this past year).  I mean that I just don’t feel like doing ANYTHING; I would be content to just lie in the bed 24/7 and never get up.

I don’t even have a desire to do makeup, and for anyone that knows me, you know that this is out of the ordinary for me.

Added to my mental lethargy, physically I feel rotten.  My head hurts, my knees hurt, my back hurts, my neck hurts, I can’t walk more than a few yards without feeling like I am going to fall flat on my face.

And now to make matters worse I am unemployed with less than $300 to my name.  The job search is putting added stress on me. 

Unlike some of my fellow exJdubs, my exit seems to be just as much a disaster as my life as an active witness.

I feel like I am sinking in quicksand in the middle of a deserted desert.

Stepford Escapee